Been studying a lot lately on world catastrophe. This morning I did a lot of reading on the earthquake in Haiti and the aftermath to the current, as well as watched a short vid on the Srebrenica massacre.
Monday, May 31, 2010
1:32 PM Posted by: M., 8 comments
I have a difficult time with my family, because even though I don't think I am a bad person, they make me feel like a bad person. My lifestyle does not fall within their narrow outlook on what is 'good' in life (i.e. i am not a christian, i drink, i associate closely with a lot of unbelievers, i have readily visible tattoos, i am not chaste, etc). In all of this, I compare the reality of my life to their standards and always fall short, thus feeling like a sinful, evil waste. Am I one? Perhaps, if the Bible is true and God is the asshole it says he is. But even if I am a 'bad' person to God, why should I care? I don't even particularly like God at all.
I may drink a few times (or more) a week with friends, but I don't have GENOCIDES under my belt. I may have some tattoos on my arms, but I haven't neglected to prevent billions of people from suffering in natural and man-made disasters when I had the power to stop it...I may not be pure as snow, but I sure as hell haven't created a world in which people are condemned to eternal damnation if they don't worship me. So i feel pretty good that I'm not a bad being compared to God.
I feel bad compared to my family until I really examine our priorities.
from my perspective (which won't be entirely accurate), my parents' main priorities are (1) serving God (2) saving money for retirement (3) having a perfectly appearing family. They work jobs they don't enjoy, and they spend time maintaining a facade to their friends about how our family has it all together. (Little do they know this pursuit is at the expense of actually fostering a close, dynamic, strong family bond.)
in turn, my priorities are the following (not in order) - (1) forming strong relationships and bonds with a wide variety of people (2) taking advantage of as many opportunities as I can each day/saying yes to everything I can (3) pursuing a career that will make a global difference (4) living my life to the fullest potential and greatest good for those around me. ----(everything else is pretty much just sidenotes to this main worldview)
Whether or not anyone else agrees, I like my priorities more and have to focus on that when I come into contact with my parents. They have found a formula for life that works for them and I have found one that works for me. We are all adults. We can agree to disagree and no one should have the power to intimidate another...
sigh...this post is a product of my mental preparation for being with my family all next weekend.