Thursday, February 15, 2007

grassy hill non-confessions

9:51 PM Posted by: M., 3 comments

Tonight I sat on a hill in a park for a little bit with my friend Leah. She is the daughter of my old pastor. I was trying to explain to her my new/changing outlook on life and God, but I just couldn't say it. I could not tell her that I don't think I am a Christian anymore so I just said "I just feel more laid back about life..." which was really dumb. But I just don't know what to say to people about this. I know that everyone will try to "save" me...they will try to give me books to read, verses to read, or they will just say, "I will pray for you..." Those things aren't bad, but they just are not what I need. Maybe they are what I "need" to like become a Christian again in a way I don't want to be...


3 comments:

Agnosis said...

This can be a very difficult reality due to all the social implications, some of which you mentioned. I'm finding that the important part is emphasis on the authentic search for truth. Any christian who values truth itself cannot in principle denigrade an honest search for it, even if that leads a person away from christianity. Those who object are not actual proponents of truth, they're dogmatic adherents of a religion of their choosing.

marie said...

wow Agnosis...that was so well said. Thanks a lot. It really is a search for truth--and even if God exists, I don't know if he will clearly show himself in this search for truth, but it has to count for something when one is truly, honestly, openly seeking it. I have to admit though, I really do feel kind of reluctant to accept truths about Christianity right now...but hopefully that is just because I am trying to recover from 2 decades of indoctrination and judgement.

thanks again. I am reading your blog right now because I am really interested to learn more about you...

agnosis said...

Thank you for the kind comments. You have some interesting articles I'll be perusing as well. I understand your feelings about the claims of christianity, two decades can give you a lot of garbage to sift through. Keep up the courage!